Monday, September 27, 2010

I Can't

sidenote: I wrote this last month(8-12-10, to be exact). The emotions aren't as strong but they're still there. I won't go in depth about what's going on but it's frustrating to say the least. However, those who know me well enough know that I'm headstrong and no stranger to prayer, so I'll be okay.

This is probably THE most personal thing that I'll post on here. I don't hate many things but I do hate being a burden. I'm stressed out. I'm angry that nothing is going the way that I planned. I'm tired of obligations and seemingly permanent rain clouds. I'm tired of always being the one to "save the day". Who's going to be there when I need help? I'm tired of trying to hold it together because I don't want to be that "Emotional Wreck" or "The Girl That Couldn't Handle It". I'm tired of carrying a chip on my shoulder due to me holding everything in & walking the line between extremely happy and on the brink of crying

I'm pretty sure that my coworkers know that something's up but what do I look like confiding in them? I've been there a little over a month. Superficial greetings & jokes aside, these people are still strangers to me and again, I don't want to be known as "The Girl That Couldn't Handle It". I'm 21 the things that I have to deal with aren't normal. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Life isn't fair but this is ridiculous.